What Anger Is Trying to Tell You
At its core, anger serves an important purpose. It signals a threat and demands a reaction. Defining the threat and knowing how to respond without escalating anger isn’t easy given that the emotion tends to hijack the logical part of the brain. Because anger can threaten relationships as well as personal health, recognizing the roots of anger and learning to work with our reactions can help improve both situations.
“Anger is part of the ‘fight’ component of the ‘fight-or-flight’ response we were born with, and they have surprisingly similar physiological patterns of activation,” explains Charlene Williams, PhD, Clinical and Health Psychologist and Medical Hypnotherapist at the UCLA Head and Neck Cancer program. “In an evolutionary sense, our survival depended on our having a very quick, somewhat overly protective, response to danger. We survived better if we were a little more sensitive and reactive to danger (whether fighting or fleeing). This has left modern humans with easily triggered, rapid-fire activation of the fight-or-flight response, which is better suited to the jungle or other wilds than modern life.”
Anger in the Modern World
Fear, frustration, disappointment, broken boundaries, lack of control, insults, verbal and physical assaults, and traumas are just a few of the reasons we may react with anger or be subjected to it. Not surprisingly, studies show that the COVID-19 pandemic has triggered an uptick in anger. Job loss, stay-at-home orders, social distancing, travel restrictions, and mask mandates have led to an explosion of rallies, riots, and angry conversations that continue to be played out in public and private forums.
Stress and other mental health disorders can also manifest into anger. For example, people with anxiety tend to worry excessively and have high, and often unrealistic, expectations for the way in which things should be done. Depressed individuals often feel angry that their situation is different than they feel it should be. As a result, both types of people feel frustrated and angry at others and themselves.
Anger in Body and Mind
Regardless of what prompts it, anger has a negative impact on well-being psychologically and physiologically. Anger floods the bloodstream with hormones including cortisol and adrenaline. As a result, muscles tense, heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, and the ability to think clearly becomes virtually impossible.
“It can be all too easy to find ourselves caught in a fight-or-flight anger feedback loop, in which the angry emotions feed and are fed by the bodily feeling of anger and the angry thoughts,” says Williams. “Unfortunately, this can create habitual patterns in the brain and body that results in a repetitive anger loop or ‘rut’ that’s easy to fall into and difficult to climb out of.”
A brain clouded by habitual anger may quickly spiral into road rage, explosive verbal abuse, and domestic violence. On the other end of the spectrum, some people turn anger inward stuffing themselves with too much food, or abusing drugs or alcohol in an effort to flee the negative emotion. Chronic anger has been linked to heart attacks, high blood pressure, headaches, skin disorders and digestive issues.
Anger’s destructive power can seem unstoppable, but it’s not. It requires conscious examination and inquiry: Has a boundary been broken? Did you agree to something you didn’t really want to do? Have you overreacted, lashed out and hurt someone? Exposing the root of anger isn’t always easy. It may require help from a mental health professional who can assist you in sorting through what happened, why, and how to better manage your anger or get out from under someone else’s. What’s especially helpful is catching anger early, before it escalates.
Recognizing Anger Early
Anger demands attention. Figuring out what’s needed is worth the effort.
With anger, the pulse quickens, muscles tense, and palms may begin to sweat. Just noticing these physical reactions can help interrupt the cycle. It’s useful to practice with the small irritations of daily life, such as traffic jams, unwanted telemarketing calls, or a downward swing in the stock market. This is the time to pause. Note your thoughts and bodily sensations. Do you feel tension anywhere in your body? The jaw and shoulders are common places for such stress. Temper the tension with a few deep breaths. An equally valid strategy is to take a walk or pet dog or cat. Anything that helps you calm down and reset can help. Mindfulness and compassion (self-compassion and compassion for others) are also powerful methods for working with anger.
“Many people have found significant benefit in mindfully acknowledging or labeling anger when it comes up, for example just calling it “anger” or saying to yourself “there’s the feeling of anger” or whatever words fit the experience,” Williams says. “Practicing labeling the anger, rather than reacting to it, begins to create a new neural pathway of response to angry feelings and a new habit of shifting toward a calm state.”
Nourishing Your Mind and Body
Thoughts impact emotions. If you constantly become angry by the news, reduce your exposure to it. Feed your spirit with something that brings you joy, like listening to or playing music, painting, or taking a walk in nature. Physiology also influences emotions. For example, too much caffeine can make a person jittery and lead to overreacting. Likewise, being hungry can lead to hair-trigger reactivity resulting in what’s called being “hangry” (irritably due to hunger). Sitting all day can lead to physical aches, pains and overall grouchiness. Regular exercise has been proven to improve mood.
Dealing with anger productively is a skill and conscious choice. However, that doesn’t mean you have to or should go it alone. If your anger is spiraling out of control or if you are constantly subjected to someone else’s anger, it’s time to seek help from a qualified, credentialed anger management therapist or a mental health professional.
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