Need to De-Stress in a Hurry? Try These Strategies to Help Relax in the Moment
Stress can sneak up on you anywhere at any time. You might be having a nice, easy-going day where everything is going right, and suddenly traffic comes to a standstill on the highway. You get bad news on the phone. Your washing machine starts making a strange sound. You remember you missed an important doctor’s appointment. A minor disagreement with a family member starts to escalate.
It could be anything. Regardless of what is driving up your blood pressure and lowering your mood, having some quick, in-the-moment stressbusters at your disposal can really come in handy. Putting together your de-stressing tool kit starts by being proactive in shaping the life you want to live, advises psychiatrist Albert Yeung, MD, ScD, associate director of the Depression Clinical and Research Program at Massachusetts General Hospital.
Dr. Yeung suggests that, whenever possible, try to respond to a difficult situation as a problem to be solved, rather than just a setback or burden that is too overwhelming to handle. “Problem solve challenging situations,” he suggests. “When a stressful situation arises, reassure yourself that you have dealt with similar situations before, and you will be fine. Have faith in yourself.”
And if the particular situation cannot be resolved the way you want, try not to dwell on it. “If things turn out to be disappointing, consider using acceptance and move on,” Dr. Yeung says.
Take a Breath
Probably, without thinking about it, you’ve often tried to calm yourself or steady your nerves with a deep breath. It’s quick, easy, and it is one way to hit “pause” on a situation to find some perspective. “Take a deep breath, reevaluate the situation and see if it is really that bad,” Dr. Yeung says. “A lot of times, we exaggerate the negativity. Take slow and soothing breaths to calm yourself.”
While you are breathing out that stress, take a moment to meditate. Focus on calming thoughts and images. Say a prayer if it helps. Some people find it relaxing to stretch a little to let go of any stress that has invaded their joints or muscles.
You may also find some immediate stress relief by laughing at a funny memory or a humorous scene from a favorite comedy. Jot down positive notes, such as three things you are grateful for or the names of three loved ones whose presence in your life brings you peace of mind.
Comfort in Being Understanding
When a particular person or people irritate you, adjusting how you think about them and your relationship tothem may help keep a problem from getting worse. In the moment, Dr. Yeung advises, remember that everyone is different and entitled to their own thoughts, ideas, and ways of life.
“Also try to understand that they are not perfect, and no one is,” Dr. Yeung says, adding that another person’s challenges may not be obvious to you, but they are affecting how that individual behaves. “Try to avoid judging them too fast, as you may not know what they are going through.”
One other exercise to consider when stress levels start to rise is to ask yourself what is important to you. “If being at peace is your preference, remind yourself to stay calm so that you are not being carried away by negative emotions,” Dr. Yeung says.
But What if You Just Want to Vent?
Certainly, there are risks in bottling up your feelings. But how and when you share your thoughts and emotions can make the difference between saying something you will always regret and moving toward a place of understanding.
“To most people, it is instinctive and easier to simply let your feelings out,” Dr. Yeung says. “Yet, there are a lot of potential drawbacks. We live by social norms. Lashing out usually means letting other people handle your own distress, and people don’t like it. A lot of times, we get agitated and then find out that it was our own misinterpretation that caused the anger. We are frequently misguided
by ‘our own stuff.’ When this happens, we feel embarrassed by our acts, which hurts our self-image.”
Talking calmly with a friend, loved one, or therapist is often the healthiest way to deal with a problem. Talking to yourself also can make a big difference. Sometimes just hearing yourself describe a problem can lead to a solution or the realization that you’re getting stressed about something that does not deserve that kind of energy or
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