On the 12th Day of Christmas, a Statistician Sent to Me . . .

The weeks leading up to Christmas are a magical time for medical research. The impending holiday season creates a dramatic upsurge in productivity, with researchers finding time to finish off statistical analyses, draft manuscripts, and respond to reviewers’ comments. This activity leads to a plethora of submissions to journals such as The BMJ in December, so that researchers can finish the year with a sense of academic achievement and enjoy the festivities with their loved ones. Indeed, with optimism fuelled by mulled wine and mince pies, researchers may even anticipate their article’s acceptance by early January, at the end of the 12 days of Christmas.A collective, however, works against this season of publication goodwill and cheer—a small but influential group of statisticians with very shiny noses for detail, seeking “all is right” rather than “all is bright” and emphasising no, no, no rather than ho, ho, ho. The statisticians’ core…
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