Under the Influence of Ageism

Remember that old saying, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me”? Well, that’s not quite true when it comes to ageist comments and behaviors. Consider this: You see a social media post featuring an older couple happily holding hands. The caption reads: “Adorable geezers in love.” Or perhaps you’ve seen or heard jokes about hearing loss or older people fumbling with their cell phones.

Perhaps these examples of ageism fall beneath your radar screen, or you just brush them off, thinking they don’t apply to you. But like a slow stream that eventually wears away stone, age discrimination, according to numerous studies, can lead to negative self-perception that may be harmful to physical and mental health.

Neutralizing Ageism

Neutralizing ageist stereotypes starts with understanding and acknowledging ageism exists and then infusing your consciousness with positive examples of aging.

“People have a variety of stereotypes about aging, and many of them are often negative,” says UCLA aging researcher and psychology professor Alan Castel, PhD, author of Better with Age. “We shouldn’t define ourselves by our age, but rather by how we feel, which is often younger than our actual age.”

Prevalence of Ageism

According to numerous studies, ageist stereotypes are a condoned and commonplace type of discrimination in the United States. But we are far from alone. In 2021, the first UN Global Report on Ageism found that half of the world’s population is ageist against older persons. “Ageism is so pervasive in our society that it goes largely unrecognized and unchallenged,” said UN High Commissioner for Human Rights Michelle Bachelet, speaking at an event discussing the report and its recommendations. “To combat ageism, we must shift our mindsets and challenge the narrative of older people as frail, dependent and vulnerable.”

The UN report highlights that policies and laws often reflect generalized perceptions of older persons as recipients of assistance and care. This happens, says the report, “despite the fact that older persons are one of the most diverse segments of the global population.” The UN report stresses that a human rights approach is needed to shift from the welfare paradigm, “to one recognizing older persons as rights bearers that have the same guarantees of dignity, equality, participation, autonomy and independence during their entire life course.”

Ageism and Health

When ageist messages are embedded in social and legal fabrics, they can seep into our internal consciousness, seemingly unnoticed until they are brought to light. A June 15, 2022, study published in JAMA Network Open, analyzed survey data from 2,035 adults ages 50 to 80 and found that most people (93.4%) experienced ageism in some form at least once per day. Internalized ageism was reported by 80% of the participants. In this study, internalized ageism referred to individually held beliefs linking aging and health (e.g., Do you agree with this statement: Part of getting older includes feeling lonely, sad, depressed, and having health problems?”). On the surface, that may seem to be a logical assumption, as demonstrated by the fact that so many study respondents agreed with this statement. But anyone, at any age, can be lonely, sad, depressed, and have health problems—these situations aren’t exclusive to any age group. According to the researchers, associating poor health with old age may be the most deeply rooted aging stereotype, despite evidence to the contrary. Interestingly, 82.3% of participants in the study rated their physical health as good or better.

Perhaps one of the most challenging stereotypes to overcome is that to age “successfully,” one must do so without wrinkles, excess jiggle around the middle, walkers, canes, hearing aids or without any disease or disability. It is based on the ageist idea that only people without an illness, chronic condition, or disability can be successful agers.

While a healthy diet and regular exercise can indeed stave off many chronic conditions and likely help you live a higher quality of life with more energy and positivity, we can’t control everything. Life is timebound. And that’s something we can take advantage of.

What is “Successful” Aging?

According to Castel, though many people think of their later years in terms of decline, the later decades can be (and are) extremely fulfilling and among the best times of people’s lives. Some people have the resources and physical ability to helicopter ski or dive in the Caribbean Sea. Others may remain active in local communities as art docents, mentors to young entrepreneurs, or organizers of family reunions. In his book Better with Age, Castel interviewed many people in their sixth decade and beyond living full and happy lives.

© ideabug| Getty Images Among the benefits of getting older is knowing who and what is important to you and having the wisdom to graviate toward that as much as possible.

“I was surprised at how many older adults reported to be relatively happy, have good relationships, and were able to focus on what is important,” says Castel. “There is also a lot of diversity in terms of how people age—there’s not just one path to successful aging. Having a sense of purpose and connection becomes more important, and many older adults do impressive things to stay active, fulfilled and bonded in various ways. I also observed a sense of kindness, humor, appreciation, curiosity, and a genuine connection to people.”

Focusing on What’s Possible

In his book, Castel discusses a theory of aging called “Selective Optimization and Compensation.” According to this theory, people choose desirable activities/goals, optimize the time and abilities to achieve them, and they learn to compensate for any deficiencies to get where they want to go. For example, he writes about pianist Arthur Rubinstein, who performed well into his 80s and lived to 95. Rubinstein focused on practicing pieces he loved most (selective) and when he couldn’t play super-fast anymore, he cleverly “optimized” his approach by slowing down previous sections, thereby creating a contrast that enhanced the impression of speed. It’s similar to swapping tennis for pickleball or replacing running with Nordic walking.

Among the many benefits of getting older is knowing what makes us happy and gravitating toward the people and activities that we find most gratifying.

“I think attitude is very important, and while not all of us are blessed with optimal health or wealth, trying to stay positive is important, and connecting with people who you enjoy spending time with, as well as engaging in activities that are stimulating and important to you,” says ­Castel. “Many people will say once they retire, they spend less time worrying about things they don’t like or can’t control, or what other people think. A good sense of humor is extremely valuable, too.”

The Happiness U Curve

A 2010 landmark study published in the Economist stated happiness follows a U-shaped curve across a lifetime. Broadly speaking, the study found that people appear happiest in their 20s, after which life satisfaction dips in midlife, followed by a slow and steady rise starting in the sixth decade and beyond. Researchers have debated the “Happiness Curve,” arguing that it may not be as extreme or as unwavering as initially proposed (a 2022 study from Oxford says it’s a flatter line).

But the basic idea still seems to hold true. It pushes back and debunks ageist beliefs that everything goes downhill when you hit your later decades. But unforutunately, ageism persists and can mess with your health and psychological well-being.

“Our expectations about aging really do matter, as our behavior is often based on what we think is appropriate and what we can achieve in older age,” explains Castel.

Having role models can be helpful, according to Castel. Inspiration can come from many walks of life, senior athletes, your always-friendly next-door neighbor, or aging pets who happily smell the flowers every day. To age successfully, it’s also wise to adopt what Castel calls the ABCs of successful aging: Attitude (the ability to adapt to changes as needed), Balance (both physically to avoid falls and mentally to stay engaged and have variety), and Connection (to be connected to the people and activities that you love).

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