How to Help Someone with Depression

Despite your best intentions, helping someone with depression isn’t always easy. Your friend might not realize he or she is depressed or may not be willing to accept your help. Realize that you cannot “cure” that person, no matter how hard you try. All you can do is help someone recognize that there is a problem, let him or her know you care, and suggest professional help.

Approaching a Friend or Loved One

If a loved one is showing depression symptoms, your first thought may be, “How to help?” Someone with depression likely can benefit if you bring to him or her a few recommendations for local services—the names and phone numbers of therapists or support groups, for example.

Places to approach for potential support include:

• Your doctor: Ask for the name of a heath care professional who specializes in depression.
• Local hospital or medical center: Most will have departments that offer treatment for depression.
• Online support groups: There are several groups online that offer support for those with depression.
• Local religious or community center: These often offer support services for depression.
• American Psychological Association: they offer an online psychologist locator service at http://locator.apa.org/.

Gently keep track of whether your loved one seeks treatment and takes medication as prescribed. Offer your encouragement along the way.

Identifying Suicide Risk

Be on the lookout for the signs of suicidal tendencies such as:

• Being obsessed with death and talking about it all the time
• Engaging in risk behaviors such as drinking and driving
• Putting their affairs in order
• Giving away treasured objects
• Expressing the belief that people will be better off without them
• Calling people to say goodbye
• Talking about or posting on social media about committing suicide

If you see any of these warning signs, call a mental health professional or 911 right away.

Don’t shy away from asking someone directly about depression. Even trained professionals sometimes don’t recognize the signs and symptoms in themselves. Feedback from a concerned friend or family member is often a helpful “wake-up call,” whether or not that friend or family member decides to act on it right away.

Similarly, don’t hesitate to ask whether a close friend or family member has had any thoughts of self-harm or not wanting to live. Asking about suicide does not make it more likely. On the contrary, it allows a loved one to share the burden and get the help he or she needs. Suicidal thoughts are often part of being depressed. They do not necessarily require hospitalization, but they do need to be taken seriously, and they always require urgent evaluation.

Be Persistent

Remember that you can you cannot force anyone to seek help. If your friend or loved one refuses help, all you can do is make it clear that you are available to provide support should it be desired at a future date. Don’t give up: That’s the most important aspect for anyone wondering how to help someone with depression.

Keep in contact with your loved one, and regularly suggest doing activities together that are healthy for body and mind, such as going for a walk, taking a class, sharing a healthy meal, or having a quiet chat. Try to focus on what your loved one’s interests are (or were) and don’t take it personally if you are frequently rebuffed.

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